Burning Questions

 

1.    Don’t you have enough children?

           Yes!  If God had said stop at one child, we would have stopped at one.  We are not adopting because we feel the need for more children.  We LOVE the season of life that we are in and could easily stay right where we are without rocking the boat.  This isn’t about us getting more children, it’s about the joy we are experiencing as we follow the call of God to be His hands and feet caring for the “least of these.”  And, it’s about one little girl who needs a family.

 

 

2.    Aren’t there children in the U.S. who need to be adopted?  Why do you have to go to Ukraine to adopt?

This question was actually asked to one of our children last summer when we were having a yard sale to bring Katya over for the hosting program.  We were glad that the children had the opportunity to face a hard question. They answered truthfully and with grace.  YES, there are plenty of children in our foster care system who need to be adopted, but for reasons beyond our understanding, God has matched us with this little girl in Ukraine.  If He’s calling you to domestic adoption, go for it!  We love our country, but our allegiance is first and foremost to God and He tells us that our citizenship is in heaven.  So, if He calls us to go to the ends of the earth to rescue one of His lambs, we’ll do it.

3.    If you need to raise money to pay for the adoption, should you really be adopting?

Honestly, we have always been provided for by others.  There have been times when we haven’t known how we were going to make it, and a $5000 check came in the mail, or a dancing Santa Claus appeared on the front porch waving $500, or a meal was brought just when we needed it.  We’ve always been provided for by the support of others – whether through personal support, through the members of our church, through financial aid with schools, or through direct gifts.  So really, raising money for this adoption is right in line with the way God has always provided for us.  Frankly, it feels a bit awkward to us, but that’s our pride.  We’d love to be able to do this thing without asking for help, but God’s called us to humble ourselves, admit our need, and ask people to partner with us.  Frankly, we’ve learned that support-raising is a great way for many people to get involved in God’s work.

4.    Won’t this permanently change the dynamics of your family?  Are the kids onboard?

Definitely!  Our family will be different.  Every child who comes into our family changes the dynamics.  Each child has his/her own preferences, personality, and problems.  Katya will be no different in that regard.  And yet we are very much aware that Katya will be come with wounds that need healing and habits that need shaping.  We’re anticipating that we will face some intense challenges, but believe that God doesn’t call us to something that He won’t also enable.  Regarding the kids?  Well, the short answer is that they are thrilled.  They have been asking us to adopt for several years.  It just took us a little while to catch on.    Each of the children shares their thoughts about adoption here.

5.    What is life like for Katya in the orphanage?

Katya’s situation is a bit unique.  She was abandoned by her mother at birth as a 2.2 lb preemie.  Her grandmother, Tamara, took her home and cared for her for 6 years.  When Katya turned six, Tamara took her to the orphanage because she could no longer care for her.  Katya still stays with her grandmother on the weekends and holidays.  We are committed to caring for Tamara to the best of our ability and are working even now to connect her to a local church where she can experience community.  At the orphanage, Katya’s basic needs are met.  The caregivers at the orphanages are usually very loving, but there are just too many kids. And for them, this is a job.  If you’d like to read a bit more about daily life in the orphanage, you can do so here or you can read this post by Rhya Stoesz, who was adopted from a Ukrainian orphanage when she was 10.  

Here’s one of the bedrooms from Katya’s orphanage.

 

6.    If Katya’s in a safe place that cares for her needs, why not just let her stay there in her own culture,  with her grandmother in the picture, grow up, and live a productive life in Ukraine?

 

Although Katya’s safe, for now, and even sees her grandmother regularly, the reality is that her grandmother is not able to care for her on a daily life, and foresees the day when she will not be around.  At that time, Katya will be older and the likelihood of her being adopted will decrease.  Orphanage culture is tough.  The girls learn to dress provocatively to get attention from guys at an early age.  Even this kind of attention is better than no attention, they reason.  But then life beyond the orphanage is pretty much a dead-end road.  Most kids leave the orphanage at 15 or 16, but if they choose to stay in a state-run facility, they have much less supervision than at the orphanage and their education doesn’t come close to equipping them for a productive life.  Not only this, but more and more evidence is arising that indicates that sex traffickers prey upon these girls who are orphanage graduates.  These girls are desperate, needy, and lack discernment.  70% of the girls who leave the orphanage enter the sex trade. 

 

The reality is that when Katya leaves Ukraine and comes home with us, she will experience loss.  She’ll lose her familiar culture.  She’ll lose her weekly relationship with her grandmother.  She’ll most likely even lose her language.  We’ll do what we can to help her stay connected with her grandmother and remember her heritage, yet we know that there will be loss.

 

7.    When do you plan to travel to Ukraine?

Katya becomes eligible for international adoption in May 2009, we pray.  We are hoping to travel this summer, however this depends upon the Ukrainian government.  If all goes as we hope, Dima, our facilitator submits our documents (a dossier) at the end of May or early June. From what we understand, the State Department for Adoption and Protection of Rights of the Child (SDAPRC) has two weeks to review the dossier.  Then we receive an invitation to travel to Ukraine. 

8.    How long will you be there?

The minimum amount of time is three weeks.  It usually takes about 5 weeks, but sometimes longer.  This is a LONG time to be away from home.  Thankfully we have great support with the church – elders who love caring for our people, ministry leaders who are gifted and capable in their areas of leadership, and people who are supportive of what we are doing.  We will need some practical help with house-sitting and dog-sitting.

9.    Where will the kids be while you’re in Ukraine?

 

Okay, here’s the fun part.  We really sense that the Lord wants the kids with US!  Isn’t that crazy?  But, it’s true.  We sense that there are multiple things the Lord wants to do by having us ALL travel.  We believe that some of our children may sense God’s vocational call to minister in the world.  Seeds may be planted for them to adopt.  They will see their new sister’s country and experience her culture.  We also believe they will have a ministry of presence in the orphanage as they relate to the kids as only kids can.  We clearly saw this with Sara Maria she went with us to Columbia, South America five years ago.  Finally, we can’t bear the thought of being away from them for 5+ weeks.  We’ve always dreamed of doing mission trips as a family, but we never dreamed of this avenue.  So, you can see that donations of frequent flier miles would be greatly appreciated!

 

10. Will you see people from Ukraine that you saw last spring?

 

We hope so.  Katya lives in Odessa (on the Black Sea) and our trip last summer was to Rivne (in central Ukraine).  We understand that there is a train that runs from Odessa to Rivne and we hope we’ll be able to travel during a 10-day wait period to visit with our host family and also members of Salvation Church, ECC’s partner church in Ukraine.  Our translators were from several different cities.  We’d love to visit a couple of them in Lviv and Chernivtsi.  Although we hope to travel some, our main purpose for going is to adopt Katya.  This will be our priority. 

 

Our church will be traveling to Rivne to help Salvation Church, our sister church, with a English/Sports Camp at the end of August.  So, it’s possible that the Lord is working our adoption travel plans to coordinate with Evergreen’s trip to Rivne enabling us to participate in this mission trip.  That would be really neat.  Here are our friends from Salvation Church.

 

 

 

11. Where will you stay in Ukraine?

 

Regardless of our travel, Odessa will be our home base.  We will most likely stay in Odessa Executive Suites, owned .and run by Americans.   Here we can rent a two-bedroom apartment for an amazing price.  We’ll have internet access, 24-hour help at the front desk, and will be positioned in the heart of Odessa.  

 

12. Does Katya know you are trying to adopt her?

 

Yes.  Shortly after we began the adoption process, one of our Frontier Horizon contacts talked with Tamara, Katya’s grandmother, about our desire to bring Katya into our family.  She had been hoping for this and shared the news with Katya.  Although it will be hard for Tamara, she knows that Katya’s life in Ukraine after she is gone will be immeasurably more difficult and that Katya could very well end up as an “orphan statistic.”  Whenever we skype with Katya, she asks us “When are you coming?  Tomorrow?  Next week?”

 

13. Will Katya keep her name? And how do you pronounce it?

 

We don’t know.  Once we get to Ukraine, we’ll give her the option of keeping her name or getting an American name.  We really don’t care.  “Kateryna” means “pure.”  We love her name and would be thrilled if she wants to keep her name and go by “Katya.”  However, many kids who are adopted want a new name, which has beautiful Biblical implications.  It seems like a pretty big decision for an 8-year old to make, however these kids even get to decide whether or not they WANT to be adopted.   And the phonetic pronunciation is either KA–CHA (rhyming with gotcha), or KA-TEE-YA.  We tend to call her KA-TEE-YA.

 

14. I’m interested in adopting, but don’t see that it’s possible.  What would you suggest?

 

We are not adoption experts, although we’re learning more and more every day.  If adoption intrigues you, the first thing we’d suggest you do is pray.  Secondly, we’d ask you to search the scriptures asking God to show you His heart for orphans.  Then, go from there.  If you’re interested in adopting from Ukraine, we’d suggest hosting a child through Frontier Horizon.  But this is not a placing agency.  Frontier Horizon simply brings kids over from Ukraine for 4 – 8 weeks in the summertime and again at Christmas.  The purpose is to expose them to life beyond the orphanage.  Many of these kids do get adopted by their host families, but it’s not at all an expectation.  Contact Frontier Horizon if you’re interested in finding out about their hosting program.